I know when summer’s about played out when the “end of season” catalogues begin stuffing my mailbox. “Seventy percent reduction,” they scream. All the wonderful merchandise the shop couldn’t peddle during spring and summer (and some left over from last summer’s sales). There’s that suit I craved when I first laid eyes on it in the spring catalogue. “New for summer!” the headline blared. “Cool, well-styled, just the outfit for office-to-evening,” they promised. But, oh boy, it wasn’t cheap. Now it’s the perfect “transitional” suit – whatever that means – and the price is half what it was in the spring catalogues. I’m not biting. I’ve gotten this far without it; what’s a couple of months more.
Another catalogue that arrived yesterday was filled with merchandise for Halloween and, yes, Thanksgiving.
Another catalogue that arrived yesterday was filled with merchandise for Halloween and, yes, Thanksgiving. Oh, pul-eeze!! I’m sure the next one will be touting Christmas wares. Can’t we just enjoy the waning and still beach-worthy days of August without the constant reminders that time is marching on? I don’t know if I’ll even survive until Thanksgiving, let alone decorate my Thanksgiving table with themed placemats, napkins and centerpieces. Ugh!
In the interests of complete disclosure and truthfulness, I used to write advertising copy for a long-gone department store (remember those?). The challenge was to grab the attention of the newspaper reader (SALE! In 36 point letters would usually accomplish that) and then to convince them that this was an item he or she had to have. Oh, and everything had to fit in the space allocated by the evil layout designer, Helen. I still have my well-worn and thumbed through Roget’s Thesaurus. How many ways can you say “exquisite”?
And while I’m confessing my sins, I might as well tell you that I voraciously read out of town stores’ ads, magazine copy and even catalogues for bits and pieces I could use. My boss thought I was a creative genius. If only she knew….
I recognize the challenges faced by a catalogue copywriter and, really, I sympathize.
So I recognize the challenges faced by a catalogue copywriter and, really, I sympathize. But just as it was hard for me to gin up enthusiasm for Christmas copy in September, it must be murder for these poor hacks to rhapsodize over fall fashion sometime in April to make their mid-summer deadlines. If you’ve just walked two or three blocks to your cubbyhole (copywriters don’t get real offices) in the blazing heat of July, it’s darn nigh impossible to switch your gears to contemplate the wools of November. To write about ski gear in August, swimsuits in January and, gag, Christmas wreaths in September takes a very special kind of crazy. I know.
Check your personal stack of newly-arrived catalogues, though. Lurking amid all those incredible bargains and must-have merchandise, I hope you’ll find one that reads (in 18 point), “2018/19: A Stellar Season.” That’s doesn’t qualify as a “screamer,” as we say in the trade, but I hope it speaks to you. That’s the season offering of the San Antonio Chamber Music Society and the subscription form.
Lurking amid all those incredible bargains and must-have merchandise, I hope you’ll find one that reads (in 18 point), “2018/19: A Stellar Season.”
If you have to say goodbye to summer, what better way than starting off the concert season with the Brentano String Quartet plus soprano Dawn Upshaw on October 7? “Glittering clarity” is how The Strad described their music. Man! I wish I’d written that phrase!
The season gets better and better and, really, you won’t want to miss one concert. Just look:
Reverting to my copywriting days – Only $100 will buy a season ticket PLUS 1 bonus ticket that can be used at any concert!!! AND any ticket may be used for any of the 5 concerts!!! And students and active-duty military attend our concerts FREE!
Just call 210-408-1558 to reserve your season ticket or order online. I will recognize you, you know: you’ll be the one in the “transitional” outfit, right?
– E Doyle